The Time When I Found My True Self

The Time When I Found My True Self

Once, when my wife Anna and I were meditating, I got into a special state: I had forgotten my name, my history, and anything about myself. The person I knew as myself was gone, and what was left was pure consciousness. In this state, I was beyond peace and satisfaction. I simply was, and it is the greatest thing that has happened in “my” life.

Though I eventually returned to the identification of myself, I knew what reality was: pure consciousness, just being.

Sometimes I am bewildered by the fact that I still identify with myself after such a strong experience. But I believe staying in reality indefinitely is a gradual process. We accept our ego time and again because that is what is comfortable. I think I returned to believing in my ego because that was what was expected. Most people cherish their identity and think each individual needs to express him or herself. But in actuality, identifying with the story of yourself, your name, and what others believe you to be, is the cause of missing out on the most sacred of things: being yourself, truly.

Who are you without your name, personal history, ambitions, and what others think of you? You are simply awareness–aware of what is. The material world is reduced to oneness in this awareness. Even when you see your own body in this awareness, you do not think it is your own. It is simply a part of everything else. Without names for things, the perception of separateness does not come into play. You just enjoy the awareness itself–all else does not matter.

How do we achieve this state? Below is a short guided meditation—based on the teachings of the founder of Sahaja Yoga Meditation, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi—that helps us to get into reality.

Sit comfortably with your eyes closed. Place your hands on your lap with your palms up. Repeat each phrase below until you feel peaceful and ready to move on.

1. Take a few slow, deep breaths. This will help you to relax and meditate better.

2. The following steps will help you calm your thoughts. For best results, do them slowly.

Put your right hand on your lower left side, just above your hip and quietly say, either out loud or to yourself, “I want to experience the pure knowledge.”

Move your right hand up along your side until it is just below the ribcage and say, “I am my own teacher.”

Place your right hand on your heart and say, “I am not this body, these thoughts, or these emotions. I simply am.”
Move your right hand to your left shoulder, where it meets the neck, and say, “I do not condemn myself.”

Next, put your right hand across your forehead, lower your head slightly and say, “I forgive everyone, including myself.”

Lastly, put your right hand on the crown of your head, the center of your palm making firm contact with the top of your head, and rotate it slowly in a clockwise direction. While doing this say, “Let me experience the state of meditation.”

3. Raise your right hand about six inches over your head, palm down. Slowly move your hand up and down until you feel an energy, possibly warmth or coolness, on the palm of your hand. If you do not feel it or are uncertain, simply sit and observe what you are feeling inside.

4. Sit quietly for approximately 5-10 minutes. Without trying, without effort, notice the mental silence—how your thoughts have calmed. If a thought does pop into your head, let it rise and fall away.

5. At the end of your meditation, slowly open your eyes and repeat Step 3.

Thank you for reading about my experience and for being willing to experience reality.

Nicholas Klacsanzky is an editor and writer in Ukraine. He sees meditation as a way to know the truth and to find one's true self.

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2 comment(s) so far, want to say something now?

  • Bala
    Mar 4, 2015
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    I was delighted to read about your experience.
    Over 35 years ago, many of my fellow SYs entered and remained in this state
    In the past decade, we have not heard as much – perhaps it is not shared…
    It is wonderful to know that people are still experiencing this state

    Do email me

    1976, England



  • Steve Lassoff
    Apr 5, 2015
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    Thanks for sharing your experience!



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